The most recent Gallup survey on employee engagement at work shows that 85% of employees do not feel engaged and 81% would consider leaving if the right place called. Those numbers are alarming yet many leaders are aware of those engagement issues. In fact, more and more companies are willing to spend money on outsourcing experts to help them improve their work environment and the well-being of their employees. A work environment is now commonly defined by the culture and the set of values the company attempts to cultivate.
“Show integrity”, “We strive for excellence”, “We have passion” – you may have come across those random quotes on a wall while making a coffee at work. In reality, those are probably the set of values your leadership team would like their organisation to live by. Nothing wrong with having values – in fact they are essential. They help define boundaries, behaviours and beliefs, they help cast a vision and can enhance our sense of belonging. Yet having a set of values and a vision still seems insufficient.
The same survey interestingly points out that 1 in 3 employees don’t trust their employers. Now it would be safe to say that trust is at the heart of any healthy relationships and arguably the foundation of a healthy organisation.
So what is it that stops us from growing trust? And are we even looking at the right type of trust?
Two types of trust
Let’s start by defining the two types of trust we usually see being cultivated at work.
We will call the first type “Practical” Trust. This type is usually based on predictability and productivity. We can grow practical trust with anyone who meets deadlines and KPIs. It doesn’t have to involve any sort of feelings – we can have practical trust in someone we don’t even like. Why? Because we know this person will achieve their tasks and as a result boost productivity. In other words, “practical” trust is task orientated and is often the kind of trust people are happy with as it gets things done on our to-do lists. However this type of trust isn’t viable on its own.
This leads us to the second type: “Emotional” trust. It usually appears when members of a team can feel emotionally secure between each other. In other words, we can cultivate this trust when we have provided a space where people are allowed to express their vulnerabilities, their feelings and where members of a team feel heard and understood. It is harder to navigate into “emotional” trust as some might feel exposed by talking about their weaknesses and on another hand it requires us to develop real empathy towards others in order to create an emotional bond.
Now the question is – how do we grow “emotional” trust?
1. Build empathy
When giving feedback we often do it from a position where preconceptions about the recipient or topic discussed will influence our answers. Why? Because we build opinions based on our own experiences and understanding – it is in our nature. The issue with this approach is that we don’t end up listening to the person in front of us and we end up giving pieces of advice that validates our point of view rather than understanding theirs.
A good practice on how to build empathy is to put all our assumptions aside and listen carefully to what others have to say. People want to feel heard and understood, in fact they don’t always want an answer from us but only the reassurance that someone can provide them with a safe space to be vulnerable.
Curiosity also plays a key part on building empathy. Just ask yourself this simple question – “Am I interested in getting to know the people I work with?” If you are then go and find out more about them and what drives them. It will feel awkward at first if you’re only used to “practical” trust and having personal conversations won’t feel natural but keep reiterating – it will show good intent and open the doors to more meaningful relationships.
Knowing how others want to receive our inputs is also vital. Don’t just try to be nice or to reassure – reassurance can be futile and it doesn’t always add value. Don’t be mistaken, a lot of us need those little doses of encouragement especially in these difficult times but don’t generalise it.
Here is why. The most meaningful inputs are the ones that involve candid, honest and constructive conversations, the ones that show our intention to help.
Often those conversations are difficult as they require the courage to say things as they are and put our relationships at risk but the truth is, we will always be grateful for the feedback we receive as long as we know that they come from a place of care and love.
2. Show credibility and consistent behaviour
Building a safe place to be vulnerable, recognising the good intents of others and engaging in candid conversations are the steppingstones of “emotional” trust but how do we scale this culture?
You will inevitably confront politics in your workplace and it is the number one killer of trust. It is easy to fall into the pitfalls of politics when we want to impress our bosses or manage egos however it will ruin our credibility.
Decisions and behaviour should reflect the values we have for our team. It is easy to say something but modelling it through our actions will determine whether or not we believe in what we say. In fact people remember very little when information is communicated verbally (10% the studies show) so we will be more likely to characterised by our actions.
3. Be the initiator
Be the first one to show vulnerability and share your feelings. They need to feel authentic and not calculated. Admit when you’re wrong or put your hands up when you don’t know the answer – your team will be there to help and add value to you.
4. Gain self-awareness
“How do I know if I show too much vulnerability?”, “Would people use my weaknesses against me?”
We commonly hear those questions when we are faced to show vulnerability and my answer to those is simple – it will depend on the kind of trust you are cultivating in your team. If “emotional” trust is practiced then there are no such things as “showing too much vulnerability”. Why? Because everyone’s intents are directed towards the good of the team.
While sharing weaknesses is key to trust it requires our willingness to accept them first. We are not able to rise above the limitations of our own character so the first place where we should start cultivating “emotional” trust is within ourselves. We need to have a clear understanding of what our strengths and weaknesses are and be comfortable with them. Otherwise how can we even navigate through trust if we can’t even trust ourselves.
